On Becoming a Black Family Therapist

My mom very often uses the phrase “your past is your present” and when we look at psychology with an Afrocentric lens there is great emphasis on ancestral knowledge from the frame of “I am because they were.” But when it comes to parenting Black kids in the present day how much of bringing the past into the present is helpful and how much is harmful? On today’s episode of Before the Street Lights Come On, with Jamaal, we talk about bridging the gap between past and present in his parenting of two Black kids. Watch complete episode.

Today, in honor of my deceased father’s 74 th birthday I share a personal story that reflects the nuanced dynamics of the psychological damage that often occurs in families. My story is unique to me, but I know it shares flavors with other people’s experiences, and I hope that in reading this you may find a piece of yourself and your own healing. My dad loved me deeply. I know he did. He held the vibration of love and adoration for me. In my eyes he did lots of things wrong, but in my heart, he could do no wrong. I felt from him, in his presence, the love and holding that he had for me. I was his princess. His sweetheart. I felt that with all my heart and soul, yet I could not square that feeling with the reality of our human relationship. As a five- or six-year-old, I would sit with him in silence as he watched football. On his lap, the safest place I knew of at the time. While he watched and smoked his cigarettes. While I allowed us to be wrapped in smoke. While I grasped at the...

ABSTRACT This systematic literature review explores the ways in which Black parents’ experiences of interpersonal and vicarious racism impacts parenting strategies and parent-child attachment. Using established guidelines published by PRISMA, 269 studies were identified and subject to abstract review.   Of the 22 articles included in the study, findings suggest that the majority (82%) of empirical studies on this topic focus on racial socialization (41%) and parenting styles (41%), 68% of studies identified used a quantitative over qualitative research design, and none of the included studies approached this topic from an Afrocentric research orientation. Limitations and future directions are discussed. Keya F. Williams, M.Ed.,  Christopher T. H. Liang, Ph.D.,  Chisom F. Onwuegbu, B.A. Lehigh University, College of Education INTRODUCTION Ø   Black lives have lacked the safety and protections afforded to the dominant group in America. Ø   Parenting while ...

  I have a secret. And please don’t tell my husband. You see, when I am learning techniques in my counseling psychology classes, I sometimes (read very often) use them on him, or in our relationship. Don’t feel bad for him. He already believes I, and anyone else that has a degree in psychology “shrinks” him, so I reason that I might as well do what he expects. In this case, when I learned about something called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, I saw immediately how it could benefit our relationship, so I was eager to try it out, in a self-help kind of way. How Can EFT Help You and Your Boo? Good question! In truth EFT for couples is actually a type of therapy that you (and your partner) would go in and have about 8-20 sessions with a therapist. It’s a therapy framework that is designed to help you and your partner have a deeper more secure bond. In other words, this type of therapy will not give you scripts to improve your “communication skills,” or help you “fight better...

  In the article, Burton and colleagues (see footnote for full reference) address the idea of “homeplace” in working with African American clients in family therapy.   First, the authors describe the concept of homeplace for Black Americans as a space of nurturance, created by a sense of community anchored by a shared sense of struggle and triumph.   Homeplace is a construct, originally coined by the feminist activist bell hooks, who argued that African Americans, because their ancestors were uprooted from their original lands and placed in a country in which they were unwelcomed and marginalized, lack a sense of belonging to the country and culture in which they abide. Therefore, Black Americans must deliberately create a space, where they can be nurtured physically and spiritually, and feel safe to connect with other African Americans authentically. Honoring the Homeplace in the Therapy Room Next, the authors explain how African Americans often yearn for a homepla...

In early 2018 I had absolutely no intention of returning to school. No interest in taking a class, let alone shooting for a full out PhD program. Yet here I am. Finishing my second Master’s, this time in counseling and human services and ready to begin PhD studies in the fall in counseling psychology. But this picture, the one I plopped into this blog post was not supposed to be taken. Yes, I worked my butt off, taking 4 classes a semester, while working part-time and doing the mom duty things for the last 2 years, but I had not planned to walk across that stage at the commencement ceremony. I planned to sit at home that Sunday, maybe watch some Food Network, and certainly take a nap or two. However, it seems my eldest son (at just 16 years old) had some wisdom that I did not.   He actually shamed me when I told him that I had not planned to walk. He told me that I should for sure celebrate this accomplishment, and that he was looking forward to seeing me take my walk of pride....